As a musician, singer/songwriter, and live performer, I can readily identify to the song "Faithfully." As there was a period when I lived with a lady whom I considered my wife, while I worked as a musician and singer at night.
The city of Olongapo, where I live, is a unique city. Although the Philippines is significantly a religious and
conservative country; at the time, when this incident occurred, because of U.
S. military bases, the city was almost under the control and influence of the
United States. As I mentioned in my blog: "Filipina Beauty", in Olongapo (at the time)
there was an interplay between two cultures. The women of the city,
particularly those who roam at the street and work in nightclubs, are somehow
morally free or somewhat liberated. Filipino women are conservative, basically. But
when an environmental mellow creates a certain tendency and allows a certain
leeway, which make it easier for men to interact with women freely; it is
easier for a man to find a many little romances. In my case, I am a musician;
and music is a powerful medium that appeals to almost everyone.
I will not narrate how I dealt with women when I was not committed to one of
them. I already had explained that in one of my blogs:
Filipina Beauty . Rather, what I will tell is when I become a man with a
spouse.
Like most married man, I love my
wife; and I will not do anything that would make her unhappy. No one told me;
but in my experience and in my heart and
mind, I know that in a relationship, to have an unfaithful partner is the
source of great misery. And I will never inflict it upon anyone, specially to
the one I love.
The woman of my choice is
kind and loving. She already had suffered so much for choosing someone like me.
It would be too devilish to consider adding more.
Like me, she is also a musician. In fact, she is a better musician than me. She
can play guitar and piano, she can read and write musical notation, she sings
like an angel, she earns higher wages than me, and she is my first music
teacher. Aside from her awesome talent, she is also beautiful, kind, hard-worker,
intelligent, loving. But unlike me who preferred to remain in a city and never
cared for other concerns other than my music; equipped with her beauty and
talent, she travels abroad. And it was in that separation that I experienced
great pain and yearning. And it is unfortunate that although I am in misery, I
still have to work and earn a living by singing. Practically expressing my pain
through music, which was at that time, was also my obsession.
Music has always been my therapy, my
sanctuary, my release, my source of joy, my friend, my strength, etc. When I
play on stage, some of my goals are to release my sorrow, to travel and leave
everything, and to stop the world from turning because it brings me misery. Most of the time I was able to attain my objective and the effect was wonderful.
A friend of mine once told me that
there is a song “Only the Lonely can play”; and although I never had listened to it
yet, I do believe that what it implies is that one of music's primary purpose
is to entertain and nourish the heart of the unfortunate. That is why when a
person is lonely, he or she is closer to music. Remembering this, the more I am
convinced that “Strength is gauged by its
trials” because it was at this time (when I am unhappy) when temptations
were so eager and so strong.
Again, in one of my blogs, “Stage Fright”, I had mentioned that
musicians are the most passionate men on earth. And what more if the fickle
mind is so restless, always wanting to enjoy, and could not find complete
satisfaction. Moreover, what more if young, attractive, and restless girls of
the night are everywhere; in the nightclubs, hotels, restaurants, resorts, and
other establishments which are designed and equipped with ambiance and things
that invite and enhances romance. These atmosphere and enjoyment paraphernalia
are enough to shake even the faith of a saint, what more the faith of a lonely
man. (I am saying this to give you an idea of the predicament that I had gone
through whenever she is far away.) Some of my friends willingly fell into the
trap that I tried hard not to fall into.
I personally believe that in this
age of fast travel and communication, the challenge of a modern man is not
in having countless intimate relationships with the opposite sex, but in
maintaining, nourishing, and protecting a single real one. The quote: “If you
are in Rome you should do what the Romans do” is practical and convenient, but
for me, this precept is superficial. I am a born rebel that don't easily
conform with a given system, I am also a loyal follower of things that I learned
to love. I am from a school where a teacher taught me a phrase that I
cannot forget: “Amor Vincit Omnia”. Indifferent as I am, I found this maxim
more thrilling, challenging, truthful, and universal. In this dictum ever-since dwells my faith.
For me, to have faith is to invite
and expect something from the unknown a reward, which is far beyond and greater
than all the worlds can offer. No number of words are appropriate and enough to
describe the importance of such reward, which only the faithful could
understand. But I am certain that indeed my teacher was right. And I am glad
and thankful that I believed her when she said that, “Love Conquers All”, for
if real happiness is the goal, this is the guiding line and the only way to
truly find it. -arlenkalifuentes
